Monday, August 25, 2008

So pretty much i don't think college life is for me, i mean i'm a nerd and it's hard for me to learn at a fast pace. For instance my spanish class, totally didn't know that i had class everyday expect for fridays. The teacher also pointed that out so i felt like an idiot, but i guess thats what they do when you have no idea what your doing. So maybe i should go to college, not my thing. I know it's for other people but not for me. This is just frustrating, plus i don't even have the money to go to school why go.


penni said...

Oh Nikki, You will be ok. Just take one day at a time. It will be worth it in the end. Love ya

Crystal said...

The first semester is always the hardest. just keep going you'll be glad you did!

Michael said...

yeah, that first week is a doozy, but then you'll get the hang of it, and it'll definitely be worth it. plus, after the first semester, you'll know a little more what you're into, so you can pick and choose your classes a little better. if you ever have any spanish questions, just give me a is my major.

grandmahand said...

You are totally out of your comfort zone right now but you will be glad later. Keep on going and you AREN'T A NERD!

Missy said...

What do you WANT to do? You can stick this out and do just as well as anybody else. You know that whole trust thing you mentioned? Seems like you don't trust you very much either. I know how that feels (both ways). If this is what you want, you should keep it up. If not, you need to figure out what you do want, from life I mean. What makes you happy Nikkole? Do that. It really is exactly that simple. I wish I had known that when I was your age. I would have gone to art school and majored in underwater basket weaving and I would have had a blast, despite whatever disappointment I thought others were feeling because of that. (Not that anybody really would have been disappointed, that was just my impression is all.)
There is this guy in Finland who spends many days out on the beach drawing in the sand with a stick. His drawings take up the whole beach and are amazing and beautiful and unplanned. People are always asking him "why do you do this?" His answere: "Because it makes me happy." The end.
So people shrug their shoulders, some try to chastize the guy for wasting his time like that. One guy said his art was of the Devil and spent an hour or more messing up the guys drawing in the sand. The result was just as beautiful as the original drawing had been. Pretty funny. And yet, the guy still goes to the beach as often as he wishes and draws in the sand.
You are not me, you are not Crystal, you are not Aimee or Mom or Dad or that old guy on the beach. You are you. You owe it to yourself to KNOW what you want (no guessing, you gotta find out for sure by playing around and trying stuff that interests you.) Sometimes I don't think you ever really wanted to go into meteorology. I think you might have picked it because you are so unsure of yourself being the youngest and all. We all corrected you so much, that whole self-trust thing just never happened. That's just what I suspect. Maybe it is what you really do want. Either way: "It's all right now. I learned my lesson well. You see, you can't please everyone. So ya got to please yourself." The true answeres are inside of you, right where they've always been. Trust yourself. Be good to you. What do you really want Nikkole? Nothing else is going to work. I love you kid. Keep trying. I have issues with trust too.
Also, having doubts about what will happen isn't the same as not trusting. Don't worry about Trent. You know how you feel, take the time to enjoy that and stop waisting time worring. Life is good. Love is good. Even if it didn't work out between you two for some reason, you'd get over it. But it probably will work out.
Think about this: How can you really enjoy the moment, any moment, if all you think about is "what if" or "when will" it end? You know what I mean?
It's natural to worry, but I think anybody can train their mind not to think like that anymore. Just takes practice like everything else we do in life. Sorry this was so long.

Aimee said...

Nikki, stick with it, you can change your major, but stay in school Michelle and I wish we had. Like she said, even if it was in underwater basket weaving. (smile)

Love ya